• nighttime parenting

    Co-Sleeping: FAQs

    If you would have told me five years ago that we would wake up in bed with two toddlers, I would have laughed, then probably cried. Our bed was a sacred space for the two of us; a place where we found a safe haven when we were at our most vulnerable, a place of rest and rejuvenation. It was not a place for little children. Or so I thought.   We are a Co-Sleeping Family Co-sleeping (more specifically, bed-sharing) became extremely valuable for us because our firstborn was not what people would call a “good sleeper.” His frequent nighttime wakings and our decision not to sleep-train is ultimately what led…

  • nighttime parenting

    Co-Sleeping: How To

    Before we had kids, Kevin asked me, “What would you say about our future kids sleeping in bed with us?” I scoffed. “Never happening.” “Really?” he asked. “Why?” I went onto explain that I wasn’t allowed to sleep in my parents’ bed. I would sneak into their room and my Dad, who is a light sleeper, would compassionately give me advice and send me back to my room. Children just weren’t to be in their parents’ bed. Kevin, on the other hand, was often welcomed into his parents’ full-sized bed whenever he had trouble sleeping. “I always felt so safe between them,” he recounted dreamily. “Well,” I said, “That’s cute.…

  • nighttime parenting

    Co-Sleeping: Why We Do It

      When I was pregnant the first time, I had expectations about where and how my baby would sleep. I had set up a pack-n-play across the room from us, a good 15 feet away from where I rested my head so I could easily access him in the middle of the night. Our baby would sleep in there a few weeks, then, before he got too used to being in our room, I would transfer him to his crib in the room next door, where he would sleep blissfully through the night. Oh, sweet naivety.   A Brief Overview of Our Experience The night of Levi’s delivery, he slept…

  • breastfeeding

    The Milky Way – A Documentary

      Do you have an hour and a half to spare? If so, and you are hoping to breastfeed, skeptical about breastfeeding, are currently breastfeeding, feel as though you failed at breastfeeding, or simply are interested in learning how parenting affects culture, I want to recommend a documentary to you that had a powerful impact on me. When I was pregnant with my second child, I watched this documentary. It found me in a stage of vulnerability and doubt, at a time when I was wrestling with whether or not to wean my toddler, struggling with the cultural stigmas associated with extended breastfeeding. This documentary engaged me, informed me, frightened…

  • nighttime parenting

    Why I Couldn’t go Through with Sleep Training (and what Happened)

    I remember the severity of his cry. It was lusty, desperate, and terrible. Hearing it made my insides writhe. I knew that he knew that I was right outside the door, and he was terrified as to why I wasn’t coming back in. Though I had been advised to let my baby cry alone, to self-soothe, I couldn’t do it. I flung the door open and we were reunited, tears streaming down both of our faces. I held his small body against mine and, while he calmed down quickly, it took a while for me to deescalate. This, of course, is not an affective way to sleep-train your child. I…